Welcome.... no actually your AREN'T WELCOME! HA! No, no, no just kidding... this is my rant... like it?

>Crickets Chirp< .....

Oh...

...yeah well I guess this is where I talk or well more appropriately type and you read. I've been ranting for around 3 years... maybe less who keeps track of these things?

Oh....

...you do? Well never mind... lets move on...

As I was saying, I've been a regular visitor to the Spawn message board for about 3 years. My history with the net started LONG after my addiction to action figures. I was basically born with action figures in my hands. I love them. I don't know why, nor do I care to. Its my hobby. Some people play sports, others play music, some people work on cars, and others kill. They're all hobbies and none is any more or less better than another. But chances are if you are here you like figures just as I do and if you don't you'll probably not like me much. But hey, GET IN LINE! There are a lot more people who like me a lot less than you so don't be selfish everyone can have a chance to hate me just wait your turn!

Well for my first rant I stumbled with a few ideas... mostly with some of my more controversial posts from the Spawn boards but I'm sure I'll get to those in the future. I decided to choose a topic a bit more current than issues from the past. This rant will focus on Spawn series 17.

If you are unfamiliar with this line check out www.spawn.com and get the run down on every aspect of what could be the best Spawn line to date. This line is the first Spawn line McFarlane Toys has ever produced that I decided, just from character choice, to purchase every figure from. For the last 3 series Todd has chosen to make non-comic figures and label them Spawn, even though the actually have little do with Spawn. But hey, they sell better! True, but Todd already has more than enough money than he knows what to do with so why screw the fans? ....... Exactly, I don't know either.

But ON TO SERIES 17!

First up Spawn V---



This figure is SPECTACULAR! Look, it is the most accurate 3 dimensional representation of a comic drawing ever. It looks to literally have melted of the page... unbelievable.

Next up, Al Simmons---



If you don't already know this is Spawn. It is "military man on a mission" government trained assassin before he was brutally murdered, burned, and made a deal with the devil himself(see below). And, this action figure is no let down. He just screams "Come get some", without saying a word. It's hard to believe he could become Hell's greatest champion Spawn.

This is Medieval Spawn II--



Well, all I can say is it's about time. This has been #1 on my list, and many others, to be re-made. His original was good for its time but compared to figures of today its CRAP. And now it is perfection. This character started in issue 9 of Spawn. He has since been drawn into the Spawn bible and then got his own comic. In each book he's been drawn differently and this figure looks like none of them. It looks like all of them. In the pic I've provided you can trace the lines to parts of each comic which ultimately made this final figure. It has to be one of earth's greatest compromises, and is by far my favorite of this line.

But here is where the line begins to descend, first with Angela... I mean Tiffany---



Well unfortunately for figure fans, the two creators of Angela Todd Mcfarlane and Neil Gaiman have some secret problem between each other and it has prevented Todd from producing any more figures with the name Angela. Well Todd created another Angel named Tiffany and replaced Angela with her. McFarlane toys toyed with different names for this figure but ultimately left her with a familiar name, Tiffany. But obviously this figure is Angela with a few modifications.

Now we have Satan, or in Spawn, Malebolgia---



The pic at right is Malebolgia. The Malebolgia action figure at left looks little like him. Never has Malebolgia ever been seen in comics to have those horns or a tail. It's a damn cool monster but its not Malebolgia and I don't think it had to be this way. Todd could easily have produced a highly detail version of the big M that was also true to the comic. But he didn't and I again ask why?

The final insult, Clown---



What the fuck is this? This is not Clown. There is only one part of this that remotely resembles the character Clown and it's his freakin' hand. WTF? This is damn cool but it's not Clown. Its a freaky leper on a hand truck. If it was an accessory for Clown it would work but as it stands this is going to piss more people off than it pleases. And yet again this question arises: why?

If Todd wants to do something different fine, do it, he's done it. But don't label it "Fan requested" or call it a comic line! Because it ISN'T.

Thanks for your time,
REVERSE_JiM